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"Communication itself: yes, this is urgent, this is the foundation of community, of society. But we were always meant, I think, to be able to communicate on our own terms, rather than living in each other’s heads and ears and pockets and eyeballs twenty-four hours a day."

Exactly!! I've been finding that rejecting the pressure to provide and receive instant reply has helped me feel more patient and secure in my connections. And with that, I've realized how much more important my relationships are to me than anything else my phone offers. To living and loving at our own pace!! ❤️

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Per usual, you prompt a variety of thoughts and therefore responses.

1. Boundaries. It's a favorite word of Michelle's and is essential to her well-being.

2. Obituaries. I pore through the list online almost every day, taking note of familiar names (having grown up in this oft-maligned city) but especially the ages of the deceased. Many are younger than I am, which is just the impetus I need to do something while there's still time.

3. The desert. (You and I still need to discuss this, BTW). Five years ago in the truck en route to my first water drop for migrants desperate enough to risk their lives crossing from Mexico that way, a compadre who was less anxious than I was at the prospect of five hours hiking six miles in 100-degree heat shared his strategy: "Save your anxiety for the desert."

Maybe I'm reaching here. but I think the message is to shut out all the noise -- from within and without, which you're doing -- and to accept that you don't have any control over the things you can't control. And I'd add to that, after yet another perusal of the obits, to accept the inevitable (but not yet)!! but to say, "Fuck it, I have work to do" and get out there and do it. Fuck Instagram and especially fuck Twitter. As Ted Hughes said, end of sermon.

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"The ceaseless, frantic searching for something new and stimulating on my phone, and the need to respond to everything that comes my way, have destroyed my deep cognition, my ability to focus."

Yeah, this sums it up. My brain is shot and focus, if it ever existed, has subsided completely.

That being said, perhaps you can offer Friends of Chuck tiers, so that certain friends, if they want, can pay $5 a month to be take off the Do Not Disturb list? Something to consider.

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hm

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